So the doors are shut. My house is full of extra furniture, shop stock, and stuff.. I feel the need to get it into order as soon as possible.. Which is going to be at least a week given Fox is only 9 weeks (yes I know thats gone extremely fast) and demands so much attention. Truthfully though, that's ok, I love it.
I've been really good. I've stayed calm. I havent over analysed getting down and out. I've accepted that its ok to be sad and disapointed and all that. As long as I move on.
So the store is almost empty. Matt and I were getting the large pieces of furniture out yesterday. I needed to empty out all my folders and books from beneath my counter. I lost the plot. I couldnt do it. This was the final step in the closure of my store. So I cried for the first time. Luckily my Awesome husband got it and just gave me a huge cuddle. I dont regret my decision, but it's not the way i envisioned the store ending (if at all really). It was meant to grow big and do so many great things. And it may still do those things, but not right now.
Overall I feel happy. I feel content. I am looking forward to routine and structure and painting with Memphis. I want to read him lots of books and teach him stuff myself. I want to see every smile fox has to offer and not have to get grumpy at him because he needs me. I want to just be a mum.
I hand in the keys on friday then I think it will be forever till I go into town near the area again. Should be easy as I'll be into town to do groceries and those mundane tasks.
I'm already plotting setting up a corner of our shed (well Matts shed) with my stuff so that I feel I still have ''a place''. I need to be organised with the stock anyhow for the website. I have new idea's for the business though it's going to take time. In fact I'm glad of that cause it will be nice to have a slower pace in life for a while. I had gotten more than a tad tired juggling so many balls and trying to stay sane.
So, I've done it. I'm ok and the world hasnt ended. And I can do it all again should the timing be right.
I havent failed by any means. I have tried and I have learnt & that's enough.
