Suffering with Endometriosis

Hi my name's Bec & I have endometriosis.
 
Ok, so I m a tad emotional today. In fact I have been all week. Im in pain and its driving me crazy..I dont do well with long term pain, I dont suppose anyone does really. Whilst I never thought it would permanantly go away I had hoped.. and I'm stunned that only 9 months after having Fox it is so severe already..
Silly me thought it was just bad ol ovulation pains.. but the couple days turned into a week, then into three, and its been months long now. Its upsetting because its affecting every part of my life..

On top of the normal endo symptoms I am tired all the time (who isnt if they've got children) I'm nauseous, daily headaches, but the pain, well it makes me want to punch sombody and my patience with the kids isnt at its best. I've lost motivation for my Domestic Goddess cooking and housekeeping (see I told you that wouldnt last) Baby for Life has been neglected- sorry yáll, and I'm not a happy wife to live with ( sorry hubby :(
 
What is endo you ask?

''Endometriosis occurs when menstrual tissue is pushed back into the abdomen and begins to grow. When uterus tissue grows outside the uterus, pain ensues. The signs of endometriosis can range from being nonexistent to excruciating, and according to the Mayo Clinic, endometriosis normally gets worse over time. As the condition progresses so do the symptoms and signs. As endometriosis takes over the body, the reproductive and overall health of the woman gradually declines''

 

And me- well I've had several surgeries, and my appendix removed in an effort to ''fix it''. Ive endured 6 months of menopausal injections in my stomach (to trick the body into thinking I was in menopause & hence wouldnt have periods. No periods= no endo growth) Numerous pills, and medications. Endo isnt something that ever gets fixed, just eases symptoms. A permanent fix is a hysterectomy. Not yet thanks.

And then of course the long journey to have my babies and losses before my 2 boys came into this world.

I know 2 people with severe endo like myself. Its not a nice journey, but admittedly nice to know someone else understands. My mother had it. It still to this day astounds me the drs never thought to ask mum if she'd had any reproductive problems in her past.. It may have gotten me diagnosed alot sooner..

I'm off to the Drs next week to get a referral to a specialist, again. Fingers crossed there's some new age treatment that works a treat but doesnt involve surgery...
Till then, I'll just suck it up (maybe drink some wine, or lots of wine) , after all I'm not dying.. oh and please Feel free to share if you've suffered from Endo.
Or if you think you may be suffering from Endo here's a link with symptoms to look out for.

Read more: What Are the Signs & Symptoms of Endometriosis? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5343734_signs-symptoms-endometriosis.html#ixzz26VDGUrHw

Bec.
 

Being Domestic

When I think about being a mum I think of firstly breastfeeding my baby, tonnes of cuddles & love. Then as a toddler doing crafts, fun times playing in the backyard on the swings & trampoline, playdates with other mums & their kids, and cooking everything from scratch so its healthy & delicious (well im sure i think of a whole lot more but cant recall right now)

Since I stopped trying to be supermum I've been really rethinking my priorites.. I think deep down I'm an old fashioned mum at heart.. Ive always said I wished I was born in the 50's or something when life was so much simper, and most women were content with  being a wife and mother. But knowing me that wouldnt have worked either, I always want to accomplish everything. I wanted to be able to do all the mummy things, keeping an immaculate home, catching up with friends over a glass of wine while building The Baby for Life Empire, and doing it all single handedly. No family support around me, just a loving husband who works 3 jobs. Um delusional much?

That said though I have lost alot of my drive (business wise ) since having kids. They tend to suck the life out of you. You either fight it, and end up more drained, or do as I have and give in to it all. While my busines is still important to me its not the be all like it was. My kids and husband come first- as they should.

Im really enjoying cooking, and being really domesticated.. While I've alwasy been a really organised and tidy person (in fact before kids I was very anal about mess and organisation, but again whats the point when your hurricane kids destroy an afternoon of cleaning in 5 minutes flat) I never really felt domesticated- like a real house wife.. Id cook the same boring meals every night, never attempted any baking of any kind, and if ever I had to take a plate of something to a mums group catch up it was always something I purchased last minute from the supermarket.

Now, I've started doing the 3 supermarket shop, meal planning each week, and cooking meals from scratch. I can bake cakes & slices.No more recipe bases from continental. It's amazing that I can create flavours from scratch and it doesnt entail a tonne of salt :) Hey my cooking isnt perfect, and its going to take ALOT of practice to get the methods and stuff right. But I'm really proud of myself for giving it a go.

Today I cooked cheesy mite scrolls from the Stay at home mum website.. They look good, smell good, but are a little doughy. So next time I think I need to roll the dough out a bit more. I think I was meant to brush on some milk on top before adding the cheese too. Oh well :)

Hubby is pretty happy with this cooking spurt too. For fathers day I made him Rocky road slice. granted I didnt have the marshmellows, but improvised with some goodies from the pantry and it was delish..Last week it was sausage rolls, and about half a dozen new recipes for dinner time.

Im not sure how long this will all last either.. I hope its not like my exercise fads( last a few months, get some good results then get bored & resort back to old ways)

What do you think about when defining what a mum is?