I've been put on a mission today by a very smart woman. I've asked her for advice & help to get my butt into gear to help you all have an enjoying shopping experience this year. I hadnt worked out any sales or specials, and way behind in ordering my stock for you all. She's a whip craker this lady, but its exactly what I need right now. Being your own boss sometimes is hard work. Staying motivated and desciplined is even harder (hence why I still havent managed to lose the last 5kgs of baby weight)
I get stuck sometimes, I'm not always sure what you want. Im not sure what you can get elsewhere. I guess I'm a people pleaser sometimes, and I hate getting things wrong.So I've been in a bit of a business rut. Then I see other similar businesses who seem to be going great guns, yep then I'm like oh why do I try and compete? Well I do it cause babies are beautiful, finding new and helpful prouducts is exciting, and the thrill of achieving something is priceless.
I'm busy busy today sourcing new products, placing some orders and doing my plan for the countdown till Christmas. Yes its only 6 weeks away. I still dont know what I'm doing for xmas, staying local, or travelling to see my family. We tend to alternate from year to year, but last year after having only just given birth to Fox I wasnt keen to travel. I am however looking forward to setting up the tree which we do on December 1st (long running family tradition)
So am I going to be on the mark and order what you all want? You could always email me and tell me what you're after (is that lazy of me? probably:) I must admit I've lost a bit of my ''édge'' and confidence with this Business stuff. Having a shop front is one thing, but online is a whole other kettle of fish. I cant see you to find out your needs, or help you how Id like. But it's not about me so tell me about you!
Oh and hubby is on a mission. He's got some secret squirrel business going on. He's ''making'' stuff for me to sell. Hmnn, interesting..
Id really love for you all to give me some feedback.. What would you like to see more of? more toys, more decor, more gifts for mum ( I know some of you will say I need more clothing, but really, if you saw the tubs upon tubs of kids clothing in my shed you might change your mind. There's ALOT there)
Alrighty, kids are needing an arvo snack, so I better not disappoint them.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Suffering with Endometriosis
Hi my name's Bec & I have endometriosis.
Ok, so I m a tad emotional today. In fact I have been all week. Im in pain and its driving me crazy..I dont do well with long term pain, I dont suppose anyone does really. Whilst I never thought it would permanantly go away I had hoped.. and I'm stunned that only 9 months after having Fox it is so severe already..
Silly me thought it was just bad ol ovulation pains.. but the couple days turned into a week, then into three, and its been months long now. Its upsetting because its affecting every part of my life..
On top of the normal endo symptoms I am tired all the time (who isnt if they've got children) I'm nauseous, daily headaches, but the pain, well it makes me want to punch sombody and my patience with the kids isnt at its best. I've lost motivation for my Domestic Goddess cooking and housekeeping (see I told you that wouldnt last) Baby for Life has been neglected- sorry yáll, and I'm not a happy wife to live with ( sorry hubby :(
What is endo you ask?
''Endometriosis occurs when menstrual tissue is pushed back into the abdomen and begins to grow. When uterus tissue grows outside the uterus, pain ensues. The signs of endometriosis can range from being nonexistent to excruciating, and according to the Mayo Clinic, endometriosis normally gets worse over time. As the condition progresses so do the symptoms and signs. As endometriosis takes over the body, the reproductive and overall health of the woman gradually declines''
And me- well I've had several surgeries, and my appendix removed in an effort to ''fix it''. Ive endured 6 months of menopausal injections in my stomach (to trick the body into thinking I was in menopause & hence wouldnt have periods. No periods= no endo growth) Numerous pills, and medications. Endo isnt something that ever gets fixed, just eases symptoms. A permanent fix is a hysterectomy. Not yet thanks.
And then of course the long journey to have my babies and losses before my 2 boys came into this world.
I know 2 people with severe endo like myself. Its not a nice journey, but admittedly nice to know someone else understands. My mother had it. It still to this day astounds me the drs never thought to ask mum if she'd had any reproductive problems in her past.. It may have gotten me diagnosed alot sooner..
I'm off to the Drs next week to get a referral to a specialist, again. Fingers crossed there's some new age treatment that works a treat but doesnt involve surgery...
Till then, I'll just suck it up (maybe drink some wine, or lots of wine) , after all I'm not dying.. oh and please Feel free to share if you've suffered from Endo.
Or if you think you may be suffering from Endo here's a link with symptoms to look out for.
Read more: What Are the Signs & Symptoms of Endometriosis? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5343734_signs-symptoms-endometriosis.html#ixzz26VDGUrHw
Bec.
Ok, so I m a tad emotional today. In fact I have been all week. Im in pain and its driving me crazy..I dont do well with long term pain, I dont suppose anyone does really. Whilst I never thought it would permanantly go away I had hoped.. and I'm stunned that only 9 months after having Fox it is so severe already..
Silly me thought it was just bad ol ovulation pains.. but the couple days turned into a week, then into three, and its been months long now. Its upsetting because its affecting every part of my life..
On top of the normal endo symptoms I am tired all the time (who isnt if they've got children) I'm nauseous, daily headaches, but the pain, well it makes me want to punch sombody and my patience with the kids isnt at its best. I've lost motivation for my Domestic Goddess cooking and housekeeping (see I told you that wouldnt last) Baby for Life has been neglected- sorry yáll, and I'm not a happy wife to live with ( sorry hubby :(
What is endo you ask?
''Endometriosis occurs when menstrual tissue is pushed back into the abdomen and begins to grow. When uterus tissue grows outside the uterus, pain ensues. The signs of endometriosis can range from being nonexistent to excruciating, and according to the Mayo Clinic, endometriosis normally gets worse over time. As the condition progresses so do the symptoms and signs. As endometriosis takes over the body, the reproductive and overall health of the woman gradually declines''
And me- well I've had several surgeries, and my appendix removed in an effort to ''fix it''. Ive endured 6 months of menopausal injections in my stomach (to trick the body into thinking I was in menopause & hence wouldnt have periods. No periods= no endo growth) Numerous pills, and medications. Endo isnt something that ever gets fixed, just eases symptoms. A permanent fix is a hysterectomy. Not yet thanks.
And then of course the long journey to have my babies and losses before my 2 boys came into this world.
I know 2 people with severe endo like myself. Its not a nice journey, but admittedly nice to know someone else understands. My mother had it. It still to this day astounds me the drs never thought to ask mum if she'd had any reproductive problems in her past.. It may have gotten me diagnosed alot sooner..
I'm off to the Drs next week to get a referral to a specialist, again. Fingers crossed there's some new age treatment that works a treat but doesnt involve surgery...
Till then, I'll just suck it up (maybe drink some wine, or lots of wine) , after all I'm not dying.. oh and please Feel free to share if you've suffered from Endo.
Or if you think you may be suffering from Endo here's a link with symptoms to look out for.
Read more: What Are the Signs & Symptoms of Endometriosis? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5343734_signs-symptoms-endometriosis.html#ixzz26VDGUrHw
Bec.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Being Domestic
When I think about being a mum I think of firstly breastfeeding my baby, tonnes of cuddles & love. Then as a toddler doing crafts, fun times playing in the backyard on the swings & trampoline, playdates with other mums & their kids, and cooking everything from scratch so its healthy & delicious (well im sure i think of a whole lot more but cant recall right now)
Since I stopped trying to be supermum I've been really rethinking my priorites.. I think deep down I'm an old fashioned mum at heart.. Ive always said I wished I was born in the 50's or something when life was so much simper, and most women were content with being a wife and mother. But knowing me that wouldnt have worked either, I always want to accomplish everything. I wanted to be able to do all the mummy things, keeping an immaculate home, catching up with friends over a glass of wine while building The Baby for Life Empire, and doing it all single handedly. No family support around me, just a loving husband who works 3 jobs. Um delusional much?
That said though I have lost alot of my drive (business wise ) since having kids. They tend to suck the life out of you. You either fight it, and end up more drained, or do as I have and give in to it all. While my busines is still important to me its not the be all like it was. My kids and husband come first- as they should.
Im really enjoying cooking, and being really domesticated.. While I've alwasy been a really organised and tidy person (in fact before kids I was very anal about mess and organisation, but again whats the point when your hurricane kids destroy an afternoon of cleaning in 5 minutes flat) I never really felt domesticated- like a real house wife.. Id cook the same boring meals every night, never attempted any baking of any kind, and if ever I had to take a plate of something to a mums group catch up it was always something I purchased last minute from the supermarket.
Now, I've started doing the 3 supermarket shop, meal planning each week, and cooking meals from scratch. I can bake cakes & slices.No more recipe bases from continental. It's amazing that I can create flavours from scratch and it doesnt entail a tonne of salt :) Hey my cooking isnt perfect, and its going to take ALOT of practice to get the methods and stuff right. But I'm really proud of myself for giving it a go.
Today I cooked cheesy mite scrolls from the Stay at home mum website.. They look good, smell good, but are a little doughy. So next time I think I need to roll the dough out a bit more. I think I was meant to brush on some milk on top before adding the cheese too. Oh well :)
Hubby is pretty happy with this cooking spurt too. For fathers day I made him Rocky road slice. granted I didnt have the marshmellows, but improvised with some goodies from the pantry and it was delish..Last week it was sausage rolls, and about half a dozen new recipes for dinner time.
Im not sure how long this will all last either.. I hope its not like my exercise fads( last a few months, get some good results then get bored & resort back to old ways)
What do you think about when defining what a mum is?
Since I stopped trying to be supermum I've been really rethinking my priorites.. I think deep down I'm an old fashioned mum at heart.. Ive always said I wished I was born in the 50's or something when life was so much simper, and most women were content with being a wife and mother. But knowing me that wouldnt have worked either, I always want to accomplish everything. I wanted to be able to do all the mummy things, keeping an immaculate home, catching up with friends over a glass of wine while building The Baby for Life Empire, and doing it all single handedly. No family support around me, just a loving husband who works 3 jobs. Um delusional much?
That said though I have lost alot of my drive (business wise ) since having kids. They tend to suck the life out of you. You either fight it, and end up more drained, or do as I have and give in to it all. While my busines is still important to me its not the be all like it was. My kids and husband come first- as they should.
Im really enjoying cooking, and being really domesticated.. While I've alwasy been a really organised and tidy person (in fact before kids I was very anal about mess and organisation, but again whats the point when your hurricane kids destroy an afternoon of cleaning in 5 minutes flat) I never really felt domesticated- like a real house wife.. Id cook the same boring meals every night, never attempted any baking of any kind, and if ever I had to take a plate of something to a mums group catch up it was always something I purchased last minute from the supermarket.
Now, I've started doing the 3 supermarket shop, meal planning each week, and cooking meals from scratch. I can bake cakes & slices.No more recipe bases from continental. It's amazing that I can create flavours from scratch and it doesnt entail a tonne of salt :) Hey my cooking isnt perfect, and its going to take ALOT of practice to get the methods and stuff right. But I'm really proud of myself for giving it a go.
Today I cooked cheesy mite scrolls from the Stay at home mum website.. They look good, smell good, but are a little doughy. So next time I think I need to roll the dough out a bit more. I think I was meant to brush on some milk on top before adding the cheese too. Oh well :)
Hubby is pretty happy with this cooking spurt too. For fathers day I made him Rocky road slice. granted I didnt have the marshmellows, but improvised with some goodies from the pantry and it was delish..Last week it was sausage rolls, and about half a dozen new recipes for dinner time.
Im not sure how long this will all last either.. I hope its not like my exercise fads( last a few months, get some good results then get bored & resort back to old ways)
What do you think about when defining what a mum is?
Sunday, August 26, 2012
ABA- My real thoughts
Ok ok, so I really suck at this blog thing.. Some days I could write a novel and other days I struggle to think of a read worthy topic so I dont write anything at all.
My thoughts this week have been about the disgrace of one of the volunteers from the ABA. I wrote on facebook that I have found aba to be nothing but supportive. I had to think about this statement afterwards. I recall conversations with both friends and customers and in a not so positive light about the aba from the past.
My first experience breastfeeding with memphis was horrible. Bouts of mastitis, and horrendous pain including a- kill me now- let down pain with every feed, which led to bonding issues and in turn post natal depression.. ABA were supportive, but I was often very negative towards the organisation. In hindsight now all my aggression towards them and their members was due to my own personal issues and thoughts.
I also noticed comments from other facebook pages with people stating that ''only those who have had an easy breastfeeding journey would be supportive of the aba'' well this is untrue.. Ive had a crap time first time round. And the aba has been pretty consistant, again I truly believe alot of it is more to do with your own personal thoughts/ feelings/ and beliefs that decides whether aba is right for you.
Dont get me wrong their not perfect, and I still believe some things can be said and done differently. But we all need to remember these people are volunteers. they are NOT paid for the hours of training they do, nor the hours upon hours of actual help and support they give. They are human beings who have their own thoughts. They do it for the sheer joy of helping other mums, and educating about the benefits of breast milk. My breastfeeding journey with fox would be non existant without my gorgeous friend and ABA leader Krissy, so I'm forever thankful.
I am sad nowadays when I see a new mum not breastfeeding. Im not judging, honestly Im not. But having only bf Memphis for 8 weeks, and now successfully (though still alot of hard work and persistance) of feeding Fox for 6 months I can see so many more benefits and the difference in our immediate bond is quite astounding..
Im not putting all my ''percieved failures'' down to the lack of breastfeeding. I had too high of expectations of myself and motherhood that not in any lifetime could I have reached.. But it certainly is different second time round.
If I had the time Id love to even help out with the aba.. But my priorities are with my own family and my little biz right now. Oh and this isnt an endorsment of any kind for the ABA. Anyone that has spoken to me knows im quite frank with my thoughts, and will clearly say if I dont like something. But its important for you all to also note that I'm willing to take note, and even change my very strong beliefs and opinions for a good reason. I've been educated, I am changed and now I feel like a better mum for being more open to things that held me back before.
I sincerely wish you all luck on your parenting journey. It is not for anyone to make you feel like crap, tell you your doing a bad job, or convince you to do something you dont want. But being open to new experiences and options is always a good idea :) well at least it has been for me.
My thoughts this week have been about the disgrace of one of the volunteers from the ABA. I wrote on facebook that I have found aba to be nothing but supportive. I had to think about this statement afterwards. I recall conversations with both friends and customers and in a not so positive light about the aba from the past.
My first experience breastfeeding with memphis was horrible. Bouts of mastitis, and horrendous pain including a- kill me now- let down pain with every feed, which led to bonding issues and in turn post natal depression.. ABA were supportive, but I was often very negative towards the organisation. In hindsight now all my aggression towards them and their members was due to my own personal issues and thoughts.
I also noticed comments from other facebook pages with people stating that ''only those who have had an easy breastfeeding journey would be supportive of the aba'' well this is untrue.. Ive had a crap time first time round. And the aba has been pretty consistant, again I truly believe alot of it is more to do with your own personal thoughts/ feelings/ and beliefs that decides whether aba is right for you.
Dont get me wrong their not perfect, and I still believe some things can be said and done differently. But we all need to remember these people are volunteers. they are NOT paid for the hours of training they do, nor the hours upon hours of actual help and support they give. They are human beings who have their own thoughts. They do it for the sheer joy of helping other mums, and educating about the benefits of breast milk. My breastfeeding journey with fox would be non existant without my gorgeous friend and ABA leader Krissy, so I'm forever thankful.
I am sad nowadays when I see a new mum not breastfeeding. Im not judging, honestly Im not. But having only bf Memphis for 8 weeks, and now successfully (though still alot of hard work and persistance) of feeding Fox for 6 months I can see so many more benefits and the difference in our immediate bond is quite astounding..
Im not putting all my ''percieved failures'' down to the lack of breastfeeding. I had too high of expectations of myself and motherhood that not in any lifetime could I have reached.. But it certainly is different second time round.
If I had the time Id love to even help out with the aba.. But my priorities are with my own family and my little biz right now. Oh and this isnt an endorsment of any kind for the ABA. Anyone that has spoken to me knows im quite frank with my thoughts, and will clearly say if I dont like something. But its important for you all to also note that I'm willing to take note, and even change my very strong beliefs and opinions for a good reason. I've been educated, I am changed and now I feel like a better mum for being more open to things that held me back before.
I sincerely wish you all luck on your parenting journey. It is not for anyone to make you feel like crap, tell you your doing a bad job, or convince you to do something you dont want. But being open to new experiences and options is always a good idea :) well at least it has been for me.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
New job & daycare
Fox is growing so fast. A new for me is just how quickly a baby grows out of things.. Fox is bigger than Memphis for the same age. I would have thought being formula fed Memphis would have been the bigger boy. Just goes to show, they're all so different and breast or bottle doesnt matter much in the big scheme of things.
I have officially returned to paid work. Just one day a week at hubbys work in fact. Doing accounts, Invoices etc.. Nothing fabulous, but enough to get the brain fired up again, me out of the house and Fox learning now there are more people in this world aside from his family of 4.It wasnt as hard as I thought leaving him at daycare.I had a trial run last week. I had to, the mere thought of leaving him with anyone else had me bawling. He was fine, and after a checkin at lunchtime I was too.
I am still amazed just how busy Life is now.. Before kids, we were busy, but not like this.. We would find things to do, especially once we bought our house, every weeknight and evening was filled with gardening or renovating or upkeep.. But always time to do nothing,. I miss that. Now theres barely even time to stop and remember what nothing felt like.
I am finding it harder and harder to leave the house. I wont even attempt most things with 2 kids. I am realistic as to what they can handle and what I can or cant cope with. So I have a new understanding and appreciation for stay at home mums, and why pleasure shopping isnt always high on the priority or able to do list.. This does make me feel more confident however that online and pop up shops are a great way for me to go.. Id love to be able to commit to lots of popups everywhere, but again, as I am doing this business to accomodate family life I need to be particular when I agree to showings. Weekends are best, I can do friday mornings (if the host doesnt mind me bringing along Fox) and with plenty of notice I can do evenings too (once hubby gets home to have the kids)
There still isnt a real routine here at home. I mean we eat meals at similar time each day. Memphis has a nap in the afternoon, fox is on all day (catnapping only 3 times a day for 20-40 mins) housework, crafts and online stuff done inbetween. It's hectic and crazy and I love it. I have yet to get bored. I dont know how any parent can..Just need to find some more time to devote to the 2 dogs, 2 cats 1 bird and fish and everyone will be happy.
I have so many idea's and plans (for the business) but it has to go on the backburner till I have the time and energy to give it 100%.
Best go now, need to switch off the brain before I head to bed. Catchya!
I have officially returned to paid work. Just one day a week at hubbys work in fact. Doing accounts, Invoices etc.. Nothing fabulous, but enough to get the brain fired up again, me out of the house and Fox learning now there are more people in this world aside from his family of 4.It wasnt as hard as I thought leaving him at daycare.I had a trial run last week. I had to, the mere thought of leaving him with anyone else had me bawling. He was fine, and after a checkin at lunchtime I was too.
I am still amazed just how busy Life is now.. Before kids, we were busy, but not like this.. We would find things to do, especially once we bought our house, every weeknight and evening was filled with gardening or renovating or upkeep.. But always time to do nothing,. I miss that. Now theres barely even time to stop and remember what nothing felt like.
I am finding it harder and harder to leave the house. I wont even attempt most things with 2 kids. I am realistic as to what they can handle and what I can or cant cope with. So I have a new understanding and appreciation for stay at home mums, and why pleasure shopping isnt always high on the priority or able to do list.. This does make me feel more confident however that online and pop up shops are a great way for me to go.. Id love to be able to commit to lots of popups everywhere, but again, as I am doing this business to accomodate family life I need to be particular when I agree to showings. Weekends are best, I can do friday mornings (if the host doesnt mind me bringing along Fox) and with plenty of notice I can do evenings too (once hubby gets home to have the kids)
There still isnt a real routine here at home. I mean we eat meals at similar time each day. Memphis has a nap in the afternoon, fox is on all day (catnapping only 3 times a day for 20-40 mins) housework, crafts and online stuff done inbetween. It's hectic and crazy and I love it. I have yet to get bored. I dont know how any parent can..Just need to find some more time to devote to the 2 dogs, 2 cats 1 bird and fish and everyone will be happy.
I have so many idea's and plans (for the business) but it has to go on the backburner till I have the time and energy to give it 100%.
Best go now, need to switch off the brain before I head to bed. Catchya!
Monday, March 19, 2012
The beginning of Life at home
Time is going way too fast, I blink and the week has vanished. I know it's not baby brain anymore, but it takes alot of focus to get things done these days, my precious 2 keep me so occupied and distracted.
So I have my corner of the shed set up with Baby for life stuff. It gets unorganised as soon as I have to pull something out for an order. I have no interent connection (the wireless from the house wont go through the tin walls :( so that means back and forth from the house to shed.. I refuse to set up shop inside but its getting harder. Each email I get for an order is a air punch YEAH from me. So happy. Seriously little things make me happy. Even though online isnt what I initally started out to do, it's working for us.
I worried I would be bored at home. To be truthful I was when I first had Memphis. 6 months off at home after working my butt off, I was going bonkers insane. So I returned when m was 6 months. I dont have a chance to get bored. In the few rare occassions when both boys have been asleep at the same time I've either done housework, got on the exercise bike, or if thats done for the day I sit confused as to what i do next. Relaxing is now a hard thing to do. Now though- I often miss breakfast, and simple tasks (like the dishes) take all day to do.
I havent got a routine yet. I really need to get organised, but having a breastfed baby (im feeding on demand) means a schedule is hard to stick to..
It's odd, it's as though i've always been home, and the shop life I had before feels like a lifetime ago.
Jo frost supernanny was on tv last night and if any one you watched it she showed the importance of reading to your children. Weve already read 3 books together- just this morning. Just saying.. I also finally gave Memphis a peek and seek bag (from baby for life of course) he finally has the attention span to play with it. High fives all round as he keeps finding the goodies.
I'm excited, finally I get to take Memphis to the local library for ''storytime'' they're reading the Hungry caterpillar and doing fun craft activites afterwards. Memphis will love it. It's such a big deal for us that we can actually be involved in an event as previously I was always working.And were hoping to start swimming lessons soon also. Wowsers, I'm beginning to feel like a real mum xo
So I have my corner of the shed set up with Baby for life stuff. It gets unorganised as soon as I have to pull something out for an order. I have no interent connection (the wireless from the house wont go through the tin walls :( so that means back and forth from the house to shed.. I refuse to set up shop inside but its getting harder. Each email I get for an order is a air punch YEAH from me. So happy. Seriously little things make me happy. Even though online isnt what I initally started out to do, it's working for us.
I worried I would be bored at home. To be truthful I was when I first had Memphis. 6 months off at home after working my butt off, I was going bonkers insane. So I returned when m was 6 months. I dont have a chance to get bored. In the few rare occassions when both boys have been asleep at the same time I've either done housework, got on the exercise bike, or if thats done for the day I sit confused as to what i do next. Relaxing is now a hard thing to do. Now though- I often miss breakfast, and simple tasks (like the dishes) take all day to do.
I havent got a routine yet. I really need to get organised, but having a breastfed baby (im feeding on demand) means a schedule is hard to stick to..
It's odd, it's as though i've always been home, and the shop life I had before feels like a lifetime ago.
Jo frost supernanny was on tv last night and if any one you watched it she showed the importance of reading to your children. Weve already read 3 books together- just this morning. Just saying.. I also finally gave Memphis a peek and seek bag (from baby for life of course) he finally has the attention span to play with it. High fives all round as he keeps finding the goodies.
I'm excited, finally I get to take Memphis to the local library for ''storytime'' they're reading the Hungry caterpillar and doing fun craft activites afterwards. Memphis will love it. It's such a big deal for us that we can actually be involved in an event as previously I was always working.And were hoping to start swimming lessons soon also. Wowsers, I'm beginning to feel like a real mum xo
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Next chapter
So the doors are shut. My house is full of extra furniture, shop stock, and stuff.. I feel the need to get it into order as soon as possible.. Which is going to be at least a week given Fox is only 9 weeks (yes I know thats gone extremely fast) and demands so much attention. Truthfully though, that's ok, I love it.
I've been really good. I've stayed calm. I havent over analysed getting down and out. I've accepted that its ok to be sad and disapointed and all that. As long as I move on.
So the store is almost empty. Matt and I were getting the large pieces of furniture out yesterday. I needed to empty out all my folders and books from beneath my counter. I lost the plot. I couldnt do it. This was the final step in the closure of my store. So I cried for the first time. Luckily my Awesome husband got it and just gave me a huge cuddle. I dont regret my decision, but it's not the way i envisioned the store ending (if at all really). It was meant to grow big and do so many great things. And it may still do those things, but not right now.
Overall I feel happy. I feel content. I am looking forward to routine and structure and painting with Memphis. I want to read him lots of books and teach him stuff myself. I want to see every smile fox has to offer and not have to get grumpy at him because he needs me. I want to just be a mum.
I hand in the keys on friday then I think it will be forever till I go into town near the area again. Should be easy as I'll be into town to do groceries and those mundane tasks.
I'm already plotting setting up a corner of our shed (well Matts shed) with my stuff so that I feel I still have ''a place''. I need to be organised with the stock anyhow for the website. I have new idea's for the business though it's going to take time. In fact I'm glad of that cause it will be nice to have a slower pace in life for a while. I had gotten more than a tad tired juggling so many balls and trying to stay sane.
So, I've done it. I'm ok and the world hasnt ended. And I can do it all again should the timing be right.
I havent failed by any means. I have tried and I have learnt & that's enough.
I've been really good. I've stayed calm. I havent over analysed getting down and out. I've accepted that its ok to be sad and disapointed and all that. As long as I move on.
So the store is almost empty. Matt and I were getting the large pieces of furniture out yesterday. I needed to empty out all my folders and books from beneath my counter. I lost the plot. I couldnt do it. This was the final step in the closure of my store. So I cried for the first time. Luckily my Awesome husband got it and just gave me a huge cuddle. I dont regret my decision, but it's not the way i envisioned the store ending (if at all really). It was meant to grow big and do so many great things. And it may still do those things, but not right now.
Overall I feel happy. I feel content. I am looking forward to routine and structure and painting with Memphis. I want to read him lots of books and teach him stuff myself. I want to see every smile fox has to offer and not have to get grumpy at him because he needs me. I want to just be a mum.
I hand in the keys on friday then I think it will be forever till I go into town near the area again. Should be easy as I'll be into town to do groceries and those mundane tasks.
I'm already plotting setting up a corner of our shed (well Matts shed) with my stuff so that I feel I still have ''a place''. I need to be organised with the stock anyhow for the website. I have new idea's for the business though it's going to take time. In fact I'm glad of that cause it will be nice to have a slower pace in life for a while. I had gotten more than a tad tired juggling so many balls and trying to stay sane.
So, I've done it. I'm ok and the world hasnt ended. And I can do it all again should the timing be right.
I havent failed by any means. I have tried and I have learnt & that's enough.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Needles
So my little man Fox is 7 weeks this wednesday which meant he was due for his needles..
So off I go to the hall to line up with all the other parents. Ratio of mums to dads was about 5 to 1. If it was a night session I would have made Matt come along as well.
As I sit and wait for our number to be called, I quietly observe all the other parents. This is a great catchup opportunity for most. I'm not sure if anyone else felt like me, but I was upset. Immunisation is all for a great cause but I really dislike having to cause my new baby boy pain..
A 3 year old toddler begins crying. I have a let down.. I feel really sad and want to comfort the child- the parent is of course but I still feel for him. Fox has no idea of course what is about to happen,.
Finally its our turn. A needle in each leg. He screams. I shush him and talk to him and kiss his head I cant wait to sit down and comfort feed him. Within minutes he is happily content and feeding.
That wasnt so hard was it? Nope all over and done with. Till the next lot of needles..
We put the baby gate back on Memphis's bedroom door. Only 2 wake ups last night from him- none from Fox. I hope he learns really soon not to keep getting out of his bed.
So last week I exercised every weekday. Saturday morning I woke up feeling a tad miserable- like i had a cold so decided to rest from exercise. I spent the first half of the day not resting but cleaning my house. I did jobs i havent touched in ages- like cleaning the legs on my bar stools (they needed some serious attention, not to mention polish) I also cleaned the rangehood above my stove.
It felt great, like I was getting back in control of our household.. I just wish I had more storage. I like to have a place for everything and everything in its place.
Today marks the 3rd last monday of the shop. I'm not sad yet. I only have to look at Fox and I'm happy again. Well sometimes looking at him gets me teary too cause I just feel so consumed with love for him.. Does that sound corny? Too bad. I hope every mum feels like this with their baby- It's Awesome!
So off I go to the hall to line up with all the other parents. Ratio of mums to dads was about 5 to 1. If it was a night session I would have made Matt come along as well.
As I sit and wait for our number to be called, I quietly observe all the other parents. This is a great catchup opportunity for most. I'm not sure if anyone else felt like me, but I was upset. Immunisation is all for a great cause but I really dislike having to cause my new baby boy pain..
A 3 year old toddler begins crying. I have a let down.. I feel really sad and want to comfort the child- the parent is of course but I still feel for him. Fox has no idea of course what is about to happen,.
Finally its our turn. A needle in each leg. He screams. I shush him and talk to him and kiss his head I cant wait to sit down and comfort feed him. Within minutes he is happily content and feeding.
That wasnt so hard was it? Nope all over and done with. Till the next lot of needles..
We put the baby gate back on Memphis's bedroom door. Only 2 wake ups last night from him- none from Fox. I hope he learns really soon not to keep getting out of his bed.
So last week I exercised every weekday. Saturday morning I woke up feeling a tad miserable- like i had a cold so decided to rest from exercise. I spent the first half of the day not resting but cleaning my house. I did jobs i havent touched in ages- like cleaning the legs on my bar stools (they needed some serious attention, not to mention polish) I also cleaned the rangehood above my stove.
It felt great, like I was getting back in control of our household.. I just wish I had more storage. I like to have a place for everything and everything in its place.
Today marks the 3rd last monday of the shop. I'm not sad yet. I only have to look at Fox and I'm happy again. Well sometimes looking at him gets me teary too cause I just feel so consumed with love for him.. Does that sound corny? Too bad. I hope every mum feels like this with their baby- It's Awesome!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
catch up time
OK, so I've missed ALOT of blog opportunities.. The birth of my new son, the decision the close Baby For Life store, Christmas time..So I'll just talk about how much I am in love with Fox- my new son. Maybe I might talk about the shop too.
Of course everyone is asking me about my decision to close- why? I would think it was rather obvious the second you enter the store- I have a brand new baby. Now yes I have been doing ( or attempting to do) the supermum thing for way too long now. I had managed, then I decided I didnt need to be over the top busy and stressed. Im now happy to be a work at home mum- or at least I will be once the store is finally closed come end of january.
Despite wanting and trying for over 2 years to have our first son Memphis, I was in a hurry to return to work and keep life as 'normal' as possible. I was adamant we didnt have to become these people who was just consumed with kids. I succeeded that mission.. But now all I want to do is be at home with my boys.. Its funny how in an instant your priorities can change. I have seen how fast little people grow. I am amazed everyday with the way their little minds work and the funny things they say. I do not want to miss a moment of all this with Fox.
Life is so far easier than I imagined with 2 kids. Fox feeds well, sometimes catnaps through the day, other times will sleep for 5 hours straight. At night he's down between 9-11pm, but will only wake once for a feed about 3am. Im so very lucky. Lucky to have a fairly settled baby, an awesome husband who takes turns getting up to him, and big brother who has shown nothing but love.
The last 2 days here at the shop have been flatout busy. Lucky for me Fox has slept while I've been working my magic.. Days like these do make my decision hard.. I get a buzz, a slight rush when selling. It's exciting. It's even better cause I really believe in what I sell. But to ensure I dont get sad I just think that it doesnt have to be forever. When the boys are grown up I could open another shop.. Till then I'm still trading online and will keep going to markets..
Well It's nearly hometime. Off to shut the store, feed Fox then off to get Memphis from daycare. Next entry will be really soon, it's going to be a busy couple of weeks.
xox Bec
Of course everyone is asking me about my decision to close- why? I would think it was rather obvious the second you enter the store- I have a brand new baby. Now yes I have been doing ( or attempting to do) the supermum thing for way too long now. I had managed, then I decided I didnt need to be over the top busy and stressed. Im now happy to be a work at home mum- or at least I will be once the store is finally closed come end of january.
Despite wanting and trying for over 2 years to have our first son Memphis, I was in a hurry to return to work and keep life as 'normal' as possible. I was adamant we didnt have to become these people who was just consumed with kids. I succeeded that mission.. But now all I want to do is be at home with my boys.. Its funny how in an instant your priorities can change. I have seen how fast little people grow. I am amazed everyday with the way their little minds work and the funny things they say. I do not want to miss a moment of all this with Fox.
Life is so far easier than I imagined with 2 kids. Fox feeds well, sometimes catnaps through the day, other times will sleep for 5 hours straight. At night he's down between 9-11pm, but will only wake once for a feed about 3am. Im so very lucky. Lucky to have a fairly settled baby, an awesome husband who takes turns getting up to him, and big brother who has shown nothing but love.
The last 2 days here at the shop have been flatout busy. Lucky for me Fox has slept while I've been working my magic.. Days like these do make my decision hard.. I get a buzz, a slight rush when selling. It's exciting. It's even better cause I really believe in what I sell. But to ensure I dont get sad I just think that it doesnt have to be forever. When the boys are grown up I could open another shop.. Till then I'm still trading online and will keep going to markets..
Well It's nearly hometime. Off to shut the store, feed Fox then off to get Memphis from daycare. Next entry will be really soon, it's going to be a busy couple of weeks.
xox Bec
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