Ok ok, so I really suck at this blog thing.. Some days I could write a novel and other days I struggle to think of a read worthy topic so I dont write anything at all.
My thoughts this week have been about the disgrace of one of the volunteers from the ABA. I wrote on facebook that I have found aba to be nothing but supportive. I had to think about this statement afterwards. I recall conversations with both friends and customers and in a not so positive light about the aba from the past.
My first experience breastfeeding with memphis was horrible. Bouts of mastitis, and horrendous pain including a- kill me now- let down pain with every feed, which led to bonding issues and in turn post natal depression.. ABA were supportive, but I was often very negative towards the organisation. In hindsight now all my aggression towards them and their members was due to my own personal issues and thoughts.
I also noticed comments from other facebook pages with people stating that ''only those who have had an easy breastfeeding journey would be supportive of the aba'' well this is untrue.. Ive had a crap time first time round. And the aba has been pretty consistant, again I truly believe alot of it is more to do with your own personal thoughts/ feelings/ and beliefs that decides whether aba is right for you.
Dont get me wrong their not perfect, and I still believe some things can be said and done differently. But we all need to remember these people are volunteers. they are NOT paid for the hours of training they do, nor the hours upon hours of actual help and support they give. They are human beings who have their own thoughts. They do it for the sheer joy of helping other mums, and educating about the benefits of breast milk. My breastfeeding journey with fox would be non existant without my gorgeous friend and ABA leader Krissy, so I'm forever thankful.
I am sad nowadays when I see a new mum not breastfeeding. Im not judging, honestly Im not. But having only bf Memphis for 8 weeks, and now successfully (though still alot of hard work and persistance) of feeding Fox for 6 months I can see so many more benefits and the difference in our immediate bond is quite astounding..
Im not putting all my ''percieved failures'' down to the lack of breastfeeding. I had too high of expectations of myself and motherhood that not in any lifetime could I have reached.. But it certainly is different second time round.
If I had the time Id love to even help out with the aba.. But my priorities are with my own family and my little biz right now. Oh and this isnt an endorsment of any kind for the ABA. Anyone that has spoken to me knows im quite frank with my thoughts, and will clearly say if I dont like something. But its important for you all to also note that I'm willing to take note, and even change my very strong beliefs and opinions for a good reason. I've been educated, I am changed and now I feel like a better mum for being more open to things that held me back before.
I sincerely wish you all luck on your parenting journey. It is not for anyone to make you feel like crap, tell you your doing a bad job, or convince you to do something you dont want. But being open to new experiences and options is always a good idea :) well at least it has been for me.
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